when we gonna fiesta?

goodbye, cubbies.


they are shotty pictures but, let's be honest, the apartment was shotty.
this was the worst apartment i have ever lived in.
please note:
i never figured out which doorknob actually worked;
it wasn't the shakes that made the toilet look like that. (the seat was replaced twice in the time that i lived there. one month.)
stay tuned for pictures of the best apartment ever. (read: currently living at.)


we are embarking on week three of vegetarianism.
stages i have gone through:
the runs.
denying bacon in the most hungover of states.
i have been hungry for the past three weeks and i don't really know how to fill myself up on tamari almonds and nachos.


i'm moving. again.
so long, sheila e.
see you on state street at big 10 burrito!


12 shifts, back-to-back. daily schedule is as follows:
800 am: alarm.
800.30: reset alarm for 8.15.
8.15: turn off alarm, crack ankles, limp to shower.
8.52: check clock, decide that i am late.
8.53: request that whomever decided it was okay to park behind my car move.
8.57: ann arbor-dexter road.
9.17: arrive ann arbor.
9.18: drive aimlessly.
9.42: find parking spot 5 blocks from first job, 13 blocks from second job.
1000: commence work (1).
500 (pm): shift beer. spend 13 minutes walking a walk that should take 5.
600: commence work (2).
945: "waah-mbulance" comes to visit.
400 (am): sleep.
800: alarm.
the end.


dad, my mirror needs to be duct taped back on. and the "maint req'd" light flashes when i turn the car on. but it doesn't stay
on . . . that's a good sign, right?


a few days after the incident at the bar with the puking and whatnot, i experienced my first "will you sleep with me? i'm desperate." moment during bartending. a man as old as my father asked me if there was any "attraction." the first response that came to mind was "what do you mean?" (while batting eyes). but my actual response was something about a boyfriend still in iowa, we are apart now but won't be forever, blah blah blah. i was expecting a phone number to be left on the credit card receipt but, no, this man was bold. i got a hotel room number. (hotel name included.) i mean, really bold. i just denied you, guy, and you left me your room number. i decided that, from here on out, i will tell people that i am three months pregnant. it's undetectable!
i am considering going to the detroit zoo tomorrow. or, as i refer to it in my head, the deezy-zeezy. there is a new penguin to adore.
i also made the decision that it is time to start being relatively healthy. what does that mean? no more nachos when i come from work at 3 am. save for the fried pita and humus i ate at work tonight, today went well. it's sad that i gained all the weight i lost in the last year back in two months of being horribly, horribly poor and alone. who knows, maybe exercise is somewhere in the near future. i am remembering the last time that i consciously exercised - i was living in the efficiency on dubuque street. that was also when i taught myself that it was okay to lay in the middle of the floor and stare at the stark-white ceiling for hours.
i used to smoke a lot of pot.


i witnessed someone projectile vomit all over the back of another someone. it was the most disgusting thing i have ever seen. i contemplated linking a picture of someone performing said act but decided against it, for obvious reasons. so i decided that this photo that i took this weekend would suffice.
it was a wonderful week on the homefront. it is unfortunate that i had to drink myself a severe liver pain and a chest cold.


here is the artist's rendition of what exactly "went down" the other night. i'm sorry that the artist was unable to utilize "big-paper" (you know, the kind that managers use).
instead of celebrating my birthday today, i decided to celebrate the turn of 60000 miles in my car. we got a car wash (full detail at mr. staduim, aka: big poppa's) and an oil change. however, they were unable to get the bits of "fire" cheetos that someone (ahem, brody) left in the oddest of places.
i am pumped for an extend weekend of nothingness back on the homefront.
i got pulled over (by a copper) last night after work. it was hilarious. we are waiting for the artist's rendition of what exactly occured between 2.56 and 3.23 am to show up tomorrow.


somehow, i forgot that i had today off. i must have skipped tuesday in my mental line-up of work days. so, to celebrate, i went to the pool. i am still contemplating taking a picture of my belly and posting it here, for all to see, so that you know much pain i am in right now. why did i let myself get so burnt? there was this rather intriguing article in the columns section of the june issue of GQ magazine. (it's under the heading 'crime.' you'll have to buy the issue yourself if you want to read it. it is not on their website.) i guess it wasn't just that article, but all of the pages leading up to it (i read every one, including the ads). the last time i went to the pool, i read us weekly and didn't get this burnt. i think that says something for GQ.
moving on . . . the rest of my day was spent doing laundry and then i took a wrong turn and ended up on my way towards ypsi instead of ann arbor/saline road i started battling a random fit of depression. after turning around, instead of going to buy the dress that i have thinking about for the past week, i found myself at the local kroger market, wandering the aisles for god knows what. i left the store with a 4 pound jar of pace picante salsa (medium - the best store-bought salsa in the world!) and a pack of chocolate pudding. why is this interesting to you, my dear reader? well, some of you may know, i fucking hate chocolate. i have yet to eat one, but i think i am mildly interested to see if i enjoy it or not. i am now a card-carrying member of kroger markets, worldwide.
i realized, upon returning home, that i am approaching what was once "old" in my mind. not only is the big 2-4 coming up next week, but i just started receiving the spectator, the u.'s alumni newspaper. (i don't know why i never noticed that i was not getting it before today.) for some reason, when the u. requested of me to fill out the alumni information they so desired, i took it as a joke. now the spectator is being sent to "kathryn g. raw, esq." it has always been hard for me to come to terms with the fact that i graduated from college and i am still working in a bar. not that i don't want to, but that i choose to. with a college degree and all.
my car needs a serious oil change.


oh, mr. and mrs. mattbot, how my world has changed in the last 1.2 hours. who knew it would flutter my heart this much? not to be sappy, but i love you both very much and the best is yet to come. smooches!


son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash.

you'll never guess what is on tv right now. and, guess what?! i don't have to cover my eyes when kelly mcgillis gets nekkid. i sure with that i would have been old enough in key west to fully enjoy everything that her bar has to offer. i wonder if it is still there.
it will be such an enjoyable weekend - not only is it father's day (happy father's day, papa!), it is also lobsterfest at one of the jobs. but, more importantly, the cubs are playing the tigers. i don't recall if i have mentioned this before, but i was officially banned from watching any cubs game at the aforementioned job. it was quite a one sided fight in which i could not reply to anything that was spewed at me. things such as "do you realize that you are in michigan now, toots?" and "i hate the fucking cubs. i never want to see any of their dirty faces." and "all cubs fans are fucking losers." were said. it makes me ache to even relay these sentences to you, my faithful readers, but it must be known: michigan hates the cubs. as much as i am looking forward to neifi and the gang dominating the d-town sleaze, i'm scared for my own good. i can't talk about this anymore . . . i am twisting my hair a little too tightly and scratching my mosquito bites a little too furiously. i love you, my dear cubbies . . . great balls of fire!


it was the first meal that i have had in days. it gave me food poisioning.


still not much to report. it turns out that all cameron does at work is oscillate between smoking cigarettes while watching the tigers game and playing solitaire on the computer in the hole of an office. he's been rather stand-offish but has recently come around, especially when i correctly answered his question: what comes with the potato skins? sour cream and ranch, duh! i trained to serve tonight and remembered what a gross, gross thing it is to be in a short-order kitchen. i had to cut pickles dug from a 5 gallon container and, shortly thereafter, make 5 gallons of ranch dressing. something about it is totally endearing, though. at least i don't think that i work at "one of the best restaurants" in town anymore. i'm being knocked back down a notch and it's fucking nice. however, i am assured that i will not have to dig quarters out of the bottom of water glasses anymore. my friendly farmer friend sent me this link earlier today. it only hits so close to home as the most recent meal was eaten off of the dinosaur plate, pictured posts ago. and because i love me some good dinosaurs. i took a class at the u titled "the age of the dinosaur" and the professor helped dig up the full skeleton of the trex at the field museum in chicago. maybe it was called daisy? olive oil? i don't remember. anyway, one day, instead of having an actual lecture, he put together a power point presentation that was totally artists' renditions of what dinosaurs might have looked like. the only words i really ever remember him speaking were "and house cats . . . as big as A HOUSE!" while flipping to the next slide of a large purple cat attacking the chimney of a two-story house. maybe it's only funny to me. i've been searching on the interweb for the drawing, but to no avail.
for some reason or another, the pickles have turned my cuticles blue. and my fingers still fucking reek.
drive-by-truckers are on conan o'brien tonight.


oh, there is just so much to report today! whee! i had my own bar shift at the ol' bar yesterday. it was really slow and pretty easy. i just wish that there were a couple of assholes like me and my brody with nothing better to do than spend all of the money that they think they actually have getting drunk and watching baseball on a sunday sitting at my bar. that would have made things more profitable but, i guess the only people who do that sort of thing stay in iowa city. so, after my shift, i had to have a sundayfunday all to myself at the dexter pub. i talked to three people on the phone for about a total of 2.5 hours and read the ann arbor newspaper (three stops in dexter and not one of them sells the ny times. for shame.). i still didn't have the burger that i ordered upon arrival. i was kindly offered dessert for the delay but, by the time i had scarfed the whole thing down, there was no room left. however, i was provided with adequate time to get uberplastered. who knew that a shot of jagermeister would cost 6$ in dexter, michigan? then i came home to find that there was some in the fridge left from mattbot. (don't worry, mom, i didn't drink any more when i got home. i fell asleep - that's why i missed your call.) the best part about it all was that i was carded twice at the pub, even though i have been there before. i overheard a conversation that the 40 year old waitress (the first to card me) had with the 20 year old waitress (who was my real server) wherein the 40 said that she "didn't even want to mess with that one" as if the id was really fake. i almost started throwing out all of the other ids in my wallet just to prove something to the old bag.
in other news, anyone who has visited mattbot during his stint in michigan is sure to have graced this place. well, shit, i just got a job there today! fuck the roadhouse, i'm giving up on their asses. i am now a gainful employee at two of the three best bar/pubs in ann arbor. i was terribly excited when i woke up today to a phone call from abc, as that was the first place i applied. however, i am now thinking i will have a schedule similar to my pub quiz hero's wherein there will be no time for food and minimal time for fun. not like i really have anything else to do.
i was also wondering why everyone is so down on ypsilanti? if anyone mentions "ypsi" in ann arbor, it seems to be greeted with scoffs and guffaws. i'm going to try and a find a pool nearby today.